Why Guys Doing Life?

We didn’t start doing life together because there was a vision that one man convinced the others to follow. Rather, a couple of us were getting together for breakfast and found ourselves talking about the stuff that really matters in life: our wives, our kids, work, money, etc. In a small, informal setting such as this we were able to develop trust, openness and transparency. We might even say “vulnerability”, but that word makes some guys uncomfortable.

A friend of one of the guys doing breakfast found out about the breakfast and just came right out to ask if he could join us. He recognized the need for this deeper level of friendship and took action. He knew it wasn’t about breakfast, current events, sports, or politics. It was a very bold and courageous move on his part! Of course, we welcomed him into the group, and it was even better with his participation.

Another guy was a regular at the same breakfast place but usually sat by himself. All it took was a kind word and a soft invitation and he was in! We even had a woman come into the doorway of the back room where we were gathered to ask if we met at the same time every week. When we replied that we did, she explained that she overheard parts of our discussion and recognized that her husband needed to join us! She stepped aside and the husband entered. Little did we know he was the Executive Pastor of a large local church!!

Some guys recognize the need and benefit and will come forward and ask to participate. Others won’t ask but are watching from afar hoping to be invited. Still others don’t know they need or want it until they are invited and then they become huge advocates. The common denominator we have found? All men need other guys in their life to give them advice, encouragement and occasionally even accountability. There’s another word that makes men uncomfortable at times, but we all need it just the same.

At this point, we’ve hosted hundreds of men through the 11 weeks of common topics that seem to resonate with us all. During that time, we haven’t had men participate and then express disappointment with the comradery, discussion and fellowship. In fact, just the opposite is true. At the end of the 11 weeks we always hear that the men don’t want it to end.

The reasons men don’t continue to do life are the same excuses the enemy uses to keep us from exercising, reading our bible, and continuing to date our wives - “I don’t have time” or “scheduling conflicts”. Hey, we get it, life comes at you and it’s easy to get swamped with tasks and to-do’s. The men that make time, that make a priority for doing life with other men will tell you it’s one of the most important things they do on a regular basis. The quality of their marriages, their relationships with their kids and that something special co-workers see in them are always a tell-tale sign as well.